Let¡¯s face it: like it or not, this is a man¡¯s world. Men make more money; men get more respect; and everything¡¯s pretty much set up to keep it that way. The Secretarial profession is one rare place where the powers that be allow women to dominate. It figures they¡¯d dump such a crappy profession on us! Male Secretaries are few and far between. And when you do find one, it¡¯s usually an unsettling experience. Why? Because even though we don¡¯t give a second though to seeing a woman slog through this rotten job, we¡¯ve been trained to be disturbed by the idea of a subservient male! Even though we dominate the field, hiring a disproportionately high amount of female Secretaries=sexual harassment, though they¡¯ll never admit THAT in ¡°sensitivity training.¡± Why should we get stuck with all the shit-work? Fed-Up Secretary recently met up with a male Secretary to learn about life in this minority among us. Fed-Up Secretary: Do you like being a Secretary?

Male Secretary: It¡¯s better than digging a ditch, but mostly I hate it.

F-U.S.: I feel exactly the same way. A lot of Secretaries are grateful that they don¡¯t have to serve fast food or do manual labor. They think that makes it worth it to put up with the shit we have to do on the job.

M.S.: I work with a lot of people like that.

F-U.S.: We all do. Tell me, how long have you been a Secretary?

M.S.: Five years.

F-U.S.: And how did you get started?

M.S.: When I got out of school, I started temping. I had taken typing in school and didn¡¯t have any trouble filing or talking on the phone, so I though I¡¯d give it a try. It was easier than managing record stores or the Gap, like all my friends were doing, and it paid better.

F-U.S.: What did you friends think?

M.S.: Mostly they were jealous because I was making more money than them. But there was some teasing and rude comments.

F-U.S.: Like what?

M.S.: That I was lazy; that I wasn¡¯t working hard; that guy Secretaries are all gay.

F-U.S.: Oh, stereotypes! Were you lazy?

M.S.: (laughs) Just a little.

F-U.S.: Were you working hard?

M.S.: Sort of.

F-U.S.: Are you gay?

M.S.: (laughs) Uh, well, yeah.

F-U.S.: I see. Now, the secretarial profession is unusual in that it¡¯s dominated by women rather than men. As a minority in the field, do you feel oppressed?

M.S.: No. If anything, it works to my advantage.

F-U.S.: How¡¯s that?

M.S.: No one thinks a man is going to be as good a Secretary as a woman, so I¡¯m usually the second choice to give a difficult job to. I¡¯m the one they send out for coffee or lunch.

F-U.S.: How interesting. Aside from that, do you think the male secretarial experience is basically similar or different from the female secretarial experience?

M.S.: Mostly, it¡¯s the same. Bosses still treat you like shit, people still blame you for everything that goes wrong, you still never get credit for your ideas. I guess the only advantage is I don¡¯t really have to deal with sexual harassment.

F-U.S.: You also don¡¯t have to buy nylons.

M.S.: I¡¯d probably get in trouble if I did!

F-U.S.: But I think you raise an interesting point about the lack of sexual harassment toward men. I guess office life isn¡¯t like Disclosure.

M.S.: Didn¡¯t you hate that movie?

F-U.S.: Completely! As a female Secretary, I happen to know a thing or two about sexual harassment! For Hollywood to address it only as being perpetrated by a woman... and if I was going to sexually harass a man, it wouldn¡¯t be saggy-assed Michael Douglas, that¡¯s for sure. But, back to the topic. How do you feel people react differently to a male Secretary?

M.S.: The bosses are weird about it sometimes. The men are used to sort of talking down to Secretaries, but with me they feel that they have to make buddy-buddy talk about sports, things like that. One of my bosses always gives this nod to me as he walks by, sort of like a military salute, which I take to mean ¡®I still respect you as a man, son, even if you do have a girl job.¡¯ Female Secretaries are nice, but they seem to like to be able to have ¡®girl-talk¡¯ with other Secretaries, and they don¡¯t want to ¡®girl-talk¡¯ with me. The girl I work next to always talks about Roseanne to me, and not much else, really.

F-U.S.: What about female bosses?

M.S.: I don¡¯t know; I don¡¯t have any female bosses.

F-U.S.: No female boss, but an office full of female Secretaries?

M.S.: All except me!

F-U.S.: How typical. Tell me, have you ever met any other male Secretaries?

M.S.: Sometimes, on the phone.

F-U.S.: What¡¯s that like? Meeting a kindred spirit?

M.S.: No, it¡¯s like meeting someon else who has a stupid job, but I meet people with stupid jobs all the time.

F-U.S.: Why are there so few male Secretaries? Guys don¡¯t like typing or answering the phone?

M.S.: Well, I think it¡¯s obvious. Men have better opportunities in education and are more likely to be hired in better jobs than the rest. Secretary jobs are what¡¯s left over.

F-U.S.: Yes, that does seem to be the case. But you¡¯re a man--why aren¡¯t you running the company?

M.S.: Just being man isn¡¯t enough to get them to let you run the company. I don¡¯t have an MBA, I don¡¯t have connections, and I don¡¯t think I really have the personality type. I wouldn¡¯t work at all if it was my choice. But there are bills to pay.

F-U.S.: We can all relate to that! ¡°There are bills to pay¡±--that ought to be the Secretarial motto.

Sidebar: Male Secretaries Support Groups At the present time, there are no known support groups for male Secretaries. This is probably because being in this particular minority isn¡¯t really much of a problem, since most priviledges of being a man still apply to men who are Secretaries. Men who feel otherwise are advised to go off into the forest and beat on a drum.